For many years I went back and forth between many different religions. I was born and raised a catholic so naturally I rebelled as a teenager and became a satanist. As I grew older and had kids of my own, I started going to different churches and never really could connect to anything or anyone at the churches. I decided to make my family happy and baptise my first two kids and I even tried to get my communion, which I ended up not completeing and dropping out when I met my husband. He straight up told me he was an athiest. Told me I shouldn’t do things to please everyone else and so I finally just dropped all religion completely. I didn’t believe in a god or a devil or that we go to a heaven or hell. I didn’t want to raise my kids the way I was raised, in fear of burning for eternity when I died because I said a few bad words and stole a few things. 

After living like that for a few years, I still didn’t feel complete. I knew there was a higher power, something out there that wasn’t god, but our creator. One day I was in a strange mood and there was a storm coming. I stood outside waiting to see the clouds roll in and to feel the rain upon my face but before I knew it I was almost knocked over from a strong gust of wind. I got control of myself and I stood there for a second. The sky was pink and yellow yet the clouds were dark and black. Something in me changed completely. I knew then that the god I had been looking for my whole life was right below my feet. It was like that gust of wind was a slap in the face to me. I felt honored to be chosen by nature to experience that storm from that point of view. Of course I didn’t know at the time but there was a tornado going through a pasture in my back yard. I jumped back into reality when I heard glass break. I got our 3 dogs and put them in the garage and I went inside where I saw that the glass breaking was the window in my kids room, who were all awake now from the storm. I moved them all to my bed, the power was out, the wind was strong, the rain was loud like rocks being thrown at our house. Trees were broken, streets were flooded, all our neighbors were out helping eachother. And I just could not shake the feeling I had just been given. That gust of wind made me feel energized. I was buzzing with energy. I was like lightning in a room of darkness. I wanted to share this feeling with everyone but I couldn’t. Phones were dead, computers down, and I wasn’t comfortable telling my husband what I experienced. After the storm, the next day I called my mom and she reccommended a page on facebook to visit. The Pagan Circle. I started to look things up about paganism and did a ton of research and realized I was an earth child. I hid behind an alias of Moon Firelove for a year as I gathered up information. I studied the different gods and goddesses and started making an album on facebook on my profile. Then I decided to start my own page The Garden of Pagan Knowledge with much help from a friend I met through The Pagan Circle. Everything I wanted to learn I put it on my page for others to learn too. My page started growing faster than I thought it would. I started making bags to hold tarot cards and doing giveaways on the page and I loved all the responses from my fans when they would win. In May of this year it had been a year that I had been calling myself pagan but I had only told one person I was and she was a stranger, and wasn’t too interested in the topic. Just recently I started to open up and told my husband I was, which he already knew by the things I was ordering in the mail, essential oils, stones, incense. Then I told a few friends and yesterday I just made it public on facebook. I was tired of hiding. Tired of not voicing my opinion on my religion. I have told my 2 oldest children. Which my daughter already knew because we have practiced doing spells together. Now the spells part is still kind of hard for me to tell people I do them. But I am writing this blog so it will be out there now. Spells I have done are not to harm anyone, not to make anyone fall in love with me, but to help my family and friends. I have done money spells, finding spells, spells to help out someone who was going through a rough time. And doing spells means I am a witch, which is a term that is frowned upon. I feel comfortable enough now to be open about my religion. I was born from the earth. Earth is our creator. We evolved through time eventually becoming who we are today and eventually evolving into more intelligent humans. Now that I can be open about paganism, I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I feel normal. I feel at peace with my life and I am happy with how it is going. Troubles at home have dwindled down, I can talk to people more easily without feeling shy or ashamed. I can finally be me and do my own thing. Now I am not going to bash any religion because I am sure everyone feels this sense of freedom in their own religion too. I am happy to announce that I am pagan and proud! And I will surely blog more about paganism and teach others how it is percieved as an evil religion when in fact it is more peaceful than any religion I ever learned containing one God. It has only been a little over a year but I am ready to keep going and when I die I will go to Summerland or back into the earth where I once came from.