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Yes, I used the word frienemy! It is a friend that you can not stand yet they are some how always in your life, bothering and pestering you, in my opinion. I could go on and on about a certain frienemy but I decided to ask others what they would do if they saw a person that they were friends with but hated at the moment, stranded on the side of the road, needing help. Well I got some great responses. Majority of posts said that they would help the person out even though they were angry at them. There were a few that said they would not help at all. They all agreed that they would offer a ride or a phone call. A lot of people agreed that karma would be good to you for helping out someone you were upset with. Others said, they would be worried sick and could not live with themselves if they left a friend stranded no matter how mad they were. 

Kate Martin said she could not hold a grudge, “It’s just the way I am made. I try to help whenever I can. Jeez, I even help out the woman my husband left me for and had 2 kids by.” she said.

I do not think I could ever do that. I would definitely hold a grudge on the woman and my husband for cheating on me. Kate says ” Its not an easy thing to do, my close family question my sanity lol. The woman concerned thought i had an ulterior motive , like trying to steal her children….. but we all rub along now, life really is too short to hold a grudge and it impacts on your own peace of mind.”

After that response, it made me think about how true that is. Yes, in this situation I would be pretty upset and would hold a grudge for a long time, and if I saw the girl my husband cheated on me with on this side of the road stranded I would probably not help her out. I would most likely drive by and laugh and probably give her the bird! Unless there were kids in the car. Having children in this situation changes everything.

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Kati Strand said “I would definitely help. just because I am angry with them does not mean that I wish them harm.. that would just darken my spirit.”

Cyn Bigelow said “If you piss me off royal then you get yourself in a bind and I CAN help I so will and I will use that chance to SHOW you I am the superior friend. Once you thanke for the assist alls forgiven and we are besties again.”

April Milewski said “No matter how mad you are you still help them. Who knows stopping to help them may change how you feel. And you should not hold on to anger it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.”

Robin Hook said, “Chances are – I would pick them up – even just so I could holler at them! LOL – I am human, but not cold hearted!”

Wendy Reynolds says, “Been there, done that! a “Frienemy” recently got the cold shoulder from me, after she screwed me royally last year-we haven’t been friends since. Yeah, I could have asked her if she needed a ride, but KARMA is a bitch. I feel like if I help her (with anything, ever again), I will be letting that bad karma back into my life. If she had her child with her, or she was in danger, it could be a different story.”

Again we are back to the, ‘No I wouldn’t unless her child was with her.’ I think I can relate to this post the most. I do feel like allowing the person back into my life would bring back that negative energy. If you are friends but can not get along, you will NEVER get along. 

Grace Marie Macrino said “I would help them because I am better than the anger. Karma is a bitch and if I’m spiteful it will come back and bite me. I would also feel awful if something happened to this person if I drove by and left them because number one I had an opportunity to help and I didn’t and two if they get harmed they aren’t the only one that will hurt their children will hurt also.”

Susan Sawyer said “I would stop. The reason why is you should forgive. Even if they pissed you off. It is better to treat everyone with kindness because it comes back to you 10 folds. And besides it confuses the hell out of them.” I thought that was funny, but what if it misleads the woman to think you are friends again. What if you do not want this person in your life, yet now since you have helped they think you are friends again. I would have to tell her that I was doing it to be nice, not to mend a broken friendship. 

Fae Lynn said, “Sometimes we need to be the “bigger” person & help out. I would definitely stop & see what I could do. I’d give them a ride or phone call… whatever. This world is too dangerous to leave someone we know stranded. You can always be mad at them later. Besides who knows.. it might be just the perfect timing to clear the air & set things straight.”

Shelley Bence says, “I would stop, even if that person hurt me. I’m a very compassionate person although once they were in the car I would make sure to tell them what a selfish and hurtful person they are and tell them their car probably broke down because the universe wanted them to stop and think about their actions.” I really like the way Shelley worded this. It could be karma coming back on them instead. Maybe some people do deserve to help themselves for once, or to not rely on everyone else to help them out.

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A few of the ones who said no, I also had to agree with…

Pamela Lepper says, “No because the energy you put out you get back magnified by three… I try to take the high road and be the better person…. I would stop because I would want someone I knew to stop for me if I was in the same situation….however I would also take their being stuck with me to let the person know I was pissed and why!”

And Karen Duller said, “Honestly, probably not. Everyone wants to be nice and say what others would like to hear and say yes, however, aside from myself, I’m sure most people would consider it as karma taking care of things, possibly gloat a bit, and move on.” Which I think to be very true. 

Dallas Anglin is a friend of mine from high school and she first says, “If their kids were not with them, then I would probably keep driving pretending not to see them! Its their fault for pissing me off, but if they did have their kids, I would feel guilty if I did not stop so I would in that case,” she also goes on to say,  “I guess it depends on the situation and the person. Some people, regardless if they need help or not, would not accept it, if it was from someone they were upset with, or not talking to, because of their pride (yes, I know people like this) and they would rather say no thanks to you and wait for someone else, just so they wouldn’t have to give in.” I really liked this answer because I think if I was stranded alone and the person I hated came by to help I would probably tell her I can take care of myself. But if my kids were with me, I would accept the help, yet still let her know that I am still upset. 

Of course I had a certain person in mind when I asked this question. After years of getting upset with each other, then getting along again has just gotten so tiring. I have tried to be nice and I have been very mean. I have flat out said, “I do not want to be your friend anymore.” Yet somehow always ends up back in my life, over something small like helping her out or helping me out. But the arguments that separate us are brutal because we have very different views on life. So in the end… I would not help her out, kids or not. They all have phones, friends, family, etc. I may send her a text saying, that if she needed me to pick up the kids till she found help I would. But I wouldn’t want anything to do with her after all the times we have argued. 

So the conclusion, many people would stop to help someone they were mad with, especially if they had kids, and a few said they would not stop. What would you do? Would you stop for a friend that you completely couldn’t stand because they did something to upset you, if they were stranded on the side of the road? Or would you be like the latter and drive on by and wave?

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