Category: Village Perspective


I can not answer this question but I can tell yo how I feel! Homework makes me want to pull my hair out!!! School work is work that is done at school and Homework should mean work that should be done at home, such as chores, etc. My daughters are in 4th and 1st grade. They both have several pages of homework Monday through Thursday. I remember having maybe a page to do, maybe once a week or so when I was in those grades, back in the 80’s. My 1st grader has 2 to 3 pages a day to do. It is easy to help her but she would throw fits when it came to reading a paragraph and answering a question. An easy one too lol. But she would do her math homework without any problems. She has gotten a whole lot better now that the school year is halfway over and she now does her homework on the bus before she gets home.

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When my oldest was in 3rd grade last year, she was in a different school and they had a ton more homework than she has now at this new school as a 4th grader. Last year the teachers told me that she needed tutoring and that she probably wouldn’t pass the STAAR test. I was worried about her failing, she was stressing about it too. She had regular homework plus extra homework to help her with that damn test. Which I am totally against, but that will be a new blog!

Some of her work I didn’t even understand. I have never been good at math and she isn’t either. Good thing dad is because he always ended up helping both of us do her homework!

At the beginning of this year she was struggling but is improving. She is in a new school, and it is year round school, and she didn’t have to wear uniforms like at her old school. And she would stress about not having her friends.

So in my opinion they have way too much homework and from the Friday packets they bring home full of their work, it shows that they have already learned what they are having to do for homework. I think school work should not be brought home! What is the point of sending them to school for 7-8 hours and then making them come home and still do school work. I might as well home school and make them have just 3  worksheets a day instead of a whole day of school work and then coming home to spend an hour or two more longer on school work. Plus they recommend reading 15 minutes everyday. Which I do not enforce everyday, yet I usually catch them both reading on their own.

I asked a few others about this topic because I was wondering if any other parents felt like I do or if they were happy with the homework.

A friend of mine, Tiffany Cisneros (Also check out her beautiful new born photography page here) home schools her kids and she says ” It’s so stupid. I’ve heard from some VERY biased anti-public school’ist that it’s the governments way of not only controlling your kids for the 8 hours they are in school, but also controlling them when they get home, too. I realize that’s a bit sided!” I very much agree with her comment. I do think school work should be left at school and family time should be at home.

Traci Estes-Caldwell also feels the same saying, “I have never believed in sending kids home to do another 3 hours of school work after already working for 8 hrs. I feel homework takes from family time. And when we have to help one with homework then we our selves are robbing the other children of family time.” This is definitely an issue at my house, with six kids, I have to help the girls with their homework plus that is usually dinner time so I am trying to cook and clean at the same time, while also trying to comfort the baby or breaking up a fight with the boys. If they did not have homework then they would be able to help me with dinner and with the kids!

I laughed out loud when I read my friends comment! Christine Whirley Ford says, “WAY too much!! Maybe it’s just that my 5th grader procrastinates but it always seems like there’s so much to do. & she never understands the math lessons. So we get out the book. That’s not what we learned. WTH?? We are NOT smarter than a 5th grader in this house!” In my case, I can agree because I am not smarter than a 4th grader with some of this work they bring home. Luckily Dad is very good with math and he didn’t even finish high school lol.

Coleen Hooker-Guild (52) says she remembers when her boys were in school and in college they had a lot of home work! I can understand college students having homework because that homework is actually helpful towards a career. But as a child, they need to spend time with their family instead of stressing over a test that can fail them, even if they are passing regular subjects.

Another friend of mine,  Amber Quiroz says, “It’s getting easier for us. My daughter’s 2nd grade homework was HARD!! Now she is able to do most of it on her own (now in 4th grade). She always has spelling and vocab words to work on all week long, tests on Friday. If she doesn’t finish something in class it is sent home and due back by Friday. I think her teacher this year is awesome (she was also my 3rd grade teacher)!” I thought that is neat that her daughter had the same teacher as her mother. It does seem like the work my oldest daughter had before was more than it is now. She usually says she does it on the bus, but when she has choir practice she doesn’t get the chance to start it. I think that as she is getting older she has gotten into the swing of things and I actually like that they started doing their homework on the bus. And when I check there aren’t any mistakes.

One of my very close friends who is also family Vangie Torres says, “I sometimes wish I could be in class to say “are you serious”. I hate hearing “but my teacher said we have to learn it this way for the STAR test.” Hmmm how bout teaching practical usage or everyday applications. There is no general career in STAR taking.” This was my main problem last year where they had to take benchmarks every other week and if they failed the benchmark that put them on a tutoring list. Well after a few weeks of tutoring and meetings about my daughter being held back, we were in the middle of moving and so I waiting for her to finish her STAAR test and then I withdrew her and put her into the new school since we were in a new district. She used those same exact words…”But we have to do it that way because that’s how it’s done on the STAAR test!” It drove me crazy. But I think they had no clue what they were talking about. A few weeks later I received her STAAR test results and she excelled above average in every subject! I do not know how they do the test in our new school district, but I guess I will be finding out soon.

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And with our new school having a week off every six weeks (intersession) because it is year round, they always send home projects to do (homework in my opinion)! Some of the projects have been easy and a whole lot of fun, and some of them I had to pass on because they require going out and buying new supplies that I simply can not afford at all times. Which also brings me to another complaint about the school. I bought my kids crayons, markers, glue, scissors etc… for them to use at school. But the first week of school they kept bringing home home work that required all these supplies that I had already bought and sent to school! And I don’t like keeping markers, crayons or anything that ruins my white walls lol. and I have bought about 5 more packs of crayons for them to use just for homework but with a 6 year old who loves to draw and a 4 and 2 year old who like to sneak them away and decorate their walls it is hard for me to keep them in my house!

So I am going to look into homeschooling for next year. I feel kind of bad that the kids wont be able to mingle and make friends but then I will have more time to take them to play dates and also get to meet the other home-school groups in the area. I am not a hundred percent on this as I have six kids and 4 will be home-schooled.

But I do enjoy having the year round school. They get off early every Wednesday and I just realized they will be out for 4 weeks for Christmas vacation!

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This is me not my kids lol!! Especially those projects they want done during Intersession.

So how do you feel about homework? It is good for your kids? Do you think it is helpful to their education? Or do you feel it should be left at school and let the kids be kids after school?

I was introduced to the internet in 1994, my freshman year of high school. I didn’t understand much of it, and I usually watched Marilyn Manson videos and printed out pictures to put on my wall or to make collages out of. I got my first cell phone when I was 23 years old, and it had very little service, I couldn’t text, take pictures or do anything other than call and pick ringtones which was very exciting to have a gadget that I could personalize. I bought my first computer when I was 25, a single mother, living alone in Colorado, working two jobs and going to college part time. It was huge and bulky and of course dial up internet! I was introduced to Myspace then and was able to keep in touch with my family and friends back home in a new way other than our phones.

But then there was the curiosity of who else is out there? Seeing commercials and ads for dating sites and how to meet people who are just like ME only encouraged me to search for others, so I wouldn’t feel alone. I had a few profiles up on some dating sites, being only 25 and single, I wasn’t ready to settle down, but I was looking for company.

I will admit I talked to several people online, but I only had the guts to go meet one person in real life. She became an instant friend and is still an “online friend” today. But I wanted to go home, to be with my family, my real friends and with people who I grew up with.

Coming home was the best thing I did, even though I immediately got into a bad relationship, I made it through and had a second daughter.

I kept in contact with friends online through Myspace and I still had my dating profiles. I blogged almost daily, sometimes two or three times a day or more. I had then upgraded to a phone that took pictures, a digital camera, and my minivan had a dvd player!! I was one cool mom!

I met a guy at a bar one night. We drank and laughed and I really, really liked him, but we were rushed out the door when 2 a.m. came and somehow, I ended up in the backseat of my friends car and he was in the back of a taxi. The next morning, the night before was a blur but I remembered, his name, 29 years old and where he was from. All I had to do was search on Myspace with the little information he gave me and I found him with in seconds and sent him a message. “I may have been drunk, but I recognize that tattoo!” I said. Which was true because he had just had a half sleeve done, and it was his profile picture. Easy to find, and he says I stalked him.

From then on the conversation kept going and numbers exchanged and dates began and six years later we are still together! If it wasn’t for a social network, I may have never seen him again and my life would be totally different than it is today. And if it wasn’t for being still half drunk the next morning and having the courage to message him, I may not of.

After we made that step to be together and not see anyone else we both deleted all of our profiles that were on dating sites, as he was single too before we met. It was done! No more strangers! But then there came the Moms!!!

I no longer needed to search for a date, but now I was needing a friend. My husband worked out of town a lot and I was in a new city with few friends and some family. Then the ads got me again! CafeMom a place for other mothers who were just like ME!! I joined and instantly found a local play date group! I chatted with them online for like a year before I actually went out and did a play date. I was nervous to meet new people in person, yet meeting them online was pretty easy. If it wasn’t for the owner of the group spotting me in the library one day, only recognizing me from my pictures online, and inviting me to McDonald’s for lunch with the rest of them, I probably would of never went to a play date. It took me time to come around, I was pregnant, and had 3 kids already, hubby one and I had two, and I was shy for some reason!! Until I wasn’t pregnant anymore and joined them in a Mom’s Night Out, where my true colors were shown to all the moms through jagerbombs and budlights!! That was a fun night and even though I had only hung out with them a few times they took care of me and safely brought me home to my husband.

Some of us still get together when we can, our kids are all older, as it has been about 5 years now. And if it wasn’t for a social network then I would of never met some good friends that I still talk with today.

But then there were the new friends who didn’t live close to me. I joined other groups that interested me on Cafemom and made some friends who I didn’t have to go hang out with and I could hang out with them online. We played games and had contests and all kinds of fun stuff on certain groups.

I signed up for Facebook in 2007 yet didn’t start getting any feed there until 2009 when one day I had like 30 emails that I had friend requests on Facebook. I was still using Myspace, but slowly made the change as everyone else did to from one big social network to the new social network. I was able to find people that were not on Myspace and connect with all of my high school classmates and not just some of them. Now I have family that I have never met before in life, but they are on my friends list on Facebook. I am able to get to know family I never thought I would ever know, due to a social network.

Through Facebook I was able to connect with everyone from all the other social networks all in one network. People I knew and people I hadn’t ever met yet felt like I knew them because we had been interacting with each other for years now.

So where does one decide that someone is their friend, even if they have never met in person? I have met several, mostly other moms, online only, who have been awesome friends. They have seen me have kids, raising my family. They have helped me through rough times and laughed with me in good times, yet all online. I have never heard their voice in my ears. I have never physically touched them. Yet I know so much about them and they know so much about me that we consider each other friends, or “online friends”.

And these people are humans just like me, some have upset me and its is rather easy to unfriend them through a button than having an argument with them through a keyboard. So how can they be your friend, but yet easy to unfriend just because you never met them?

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In this society today life is crazy, and we are all intertwined, connected and strung together like a spiderweb, sharing all our personal thoughts with everyone out there, not just a friend down the road like I did when I was younger, or in a private spiral journal that I carried around hiding from everyone. Now I can say what I want, when I want and everyone will see it, not hear it. I can make people mad, I can make people happy all through my fingertips. A simple unread message can make an “online friend” question their friendship, and a simple emoticon can change a persons mood for the rest of the day. All your status’ affect everyone who sees it, whether they care for it or not, they read what you were doing and know about your life. Friends I had in high school do not talk to me much anymore, but people I went to high school with that I didn’t talk to then, I am closer with now.

Don’t you hate it when you go to tell someone something that happened in your day and they say, “Oh, yeah, I saw that on Facebook.” I know I do, yet it doesn’t stop me from sharing my life with everyone. I try to keep most personal stuff off of Facebook and social networks, and now that I am older and I am more confident with myself, if I put it out there, I better be able to back it up when I am confronted. So I try to keep a friendly “online friend” vibe with those whom I once knew and have grown apart from, and those whom I have never met yet know me just as well as any friend does. I do know that I do not have to go searching for a friend anymore. I have my love, I have my family, I have my real life friends and my online friends. Which who knows, we may bump into each other one day on accident and then a true personal friendship can blossom.

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Yes, I used the word frienemy! It is a friend that you can not stand yet they are some how always in your life, bothering and pestering you, in my opinion. I could go on and on about a certain frienemy but I decided to ask others what they would do if they saw a person that they were friends with but hated at the moment, stranded on the side of the road, needing help. Well I got some great responses. Majority of posts said that they would help the person out even though they were angry at them. There were a few that said they would not help at all. They all agreed that they would offer a ride or a phone call. A lot of people agreed that karma would be good to you for helping out someone you were upset with. Others said, they would be worried sick and could not live with themselves if they left a friend stranded no matter how mad they were. 

Kate Martin said she could not hold a grudge, “It’s just the way I am made. I try to help whenever I can. Jeez, I even help out the woman my husband left me for and had 2 kids by.” she said.

I do not think I could ever do that. I would definitely hold a grudge on the woman and my husband for cheating on me. Kate says ” Its not an easy thing to do, my close family question my sanity lol. The woman concerned thought i had an ulterior motive , like trying to steal her children….. but we all rub along now, life really is too short to hold a grudge and it impacts on your own peace of mind.”

After that response, it made me think about how true that is. Yes, in this situation I would be pretty upset and would hold a grudge for a long time, and if I saw the girl my husband cheated on me with on this side of the road stranded I would probably not help her out. I would most likely drive by and laugh and probably give her the bird! Unless there were kids in the car. Having children in this situation changes everything.

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Kati Strand said “I would definitely help. just because I am angry with them does not mean that I wish them harm.. that would just darken my spirit.”

Cyn Bigelow said “If you piss me off royal then you get yourself in a bind and I CAN help I so will and I will use that chance to SHOW you I am the superior friend. Once you thanke for the assist alls forgiven and we are besties again.”

April Milewski said “No matter how mad you are you still help them. Who knows stopping to help them may change how you feel. And you should not hold on to anger it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.”

Robin Hook said, “Chances are – I would pick them up – even just so I could holler at them! LOL – I am human, but not cold hearted!”

Wendy Reynolds says, “Been there, done that! a “Frienemy” recently got the cold shoulder from me, after she screwed me royally last year-we haven’t been friends since. Yeah, I could have asked her if she needed a ride, but KARMA is a bitch. I feel like if I help her (with anything, ever again), I will be letting that bad karma back into my life. If she had her child with her, or she was in danger, it could be a different story.”

Again we are back to the, ‘No I wouldn’t unless her child was with her.’ I think I can relate to this post the most. I do feel like allowing the person back into my life would bring back that negative energy. If you are friends but can not get along, you will NEVER get along. 

Grace Marie Macrino said “I would help them because I am better than the anger. Karma is a bitch and if I’m spiteful it will come back and bite me. I would also feel awful if something happened to this person if I drove by and left them because number one I had an opportunity to help and I didn’t and two if they get harmed they aren’t the only one that will hurt their children will hurt also.”

Susan Sawyer said “I would stop. The reason why is you should forgive. Even if they pissed you off. It is better to treat everyone with kindness because it comes back to you 10 folds. And besides it confuses the hell out of them.” I thought that was funny, but what if it misleads the woman to think you are friends again. What if you do not want this person in your life, yet now since you have helped they think you are friends again. I would have to tell her that I was doing it to be nice, not to mend a broken friendship. 

Fae Lynn said, “Sometimes we need to be the “bigger” person & help out. I would definitely stop & see what I could do. I’d give them a ride or phone call… whatever. This world is too dangerous to leave someone we know stranded. You can always be mad at them later. Besides who knows.. it might be just the perfect timing to clear the air & set things straight.”

Shelley Bence says, “I would stop, even if that person hurt me. I’m a very compassionate person although once they were in the car I would make sure to tell them what a selfish and hurtful person they are and tell them their car probably broke down because the universe wanted them to stop and think about their actions.” I really like the way Shelley worded this. It could be karma coming back on them instead. Maybe some people do deserve to help themselves for once, or to not rely on everyone else to help them out.

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A few of the ones who said no, I also had to agree with…

Pamela Lepper says, “No because the energy you put out you get back magnified by three… I try to take the high road and be the better person…. I would stop because I would want someone I knew to stop for me if I was in the same situation….however I would also take their being stuck with me to let the person know I was pissed and why!”

And Karen Duller said, “Honestly, probably not. Everyone wants to be nice and say what others would like to hear and say yes, however, aside from myself, I’m sure most people would consider it as karma taking care of things, possibly gloat a bit, and move on.” Which I think to be very true. 

Dallas Anglin is a friend of mine from high school and she first says, “If their kids were not with them, then I would probably keep driving pretending not to see them! Its their fault for pissing me off, but if they did have their kids, I would feel guilty if I did not stop so I would in that case,” she also goes on to say,  “I guess it depends on the situation and the person. Some people, regardless if they need help or not, would not accept it, if it was from someone they were upset with, or not talking to, because of their pride (yes, I know people like this) and they would rather say no thanks to you and wait for someone else, just so they wouldn’t have to give in.” I really liked this answer because I think if I was stranded alone and the person I hated came by to help I would probably tell her I can take care of myself. But if my kids were with me, I would accept the help, yet still let her know that I am still upset. 

Of course I had a certain person in mind when I asked this question. After years of getting upset with each other, then getting along again has just gotten so tiring. I have tried to be nice and I have been very mean. I have flat out said, “I do not want to be your friend anymore.” Yet somehow always ends up back in my life, over something small like helping her out or helping me out. But the arguments that separate us are brutal because we have very different views on life. So in the end… I would not help her out, kids or not. They all have phones, friends, family, etc. I may send her a text saying, that if she needed me to pick up the kids till she found help I would. But I wouldn’t want anything to do with her after all the times we have argued. 

So the conclusion, many people would stop to help someone they were mad with, especially if they had kids, and a few said they would not stop. What would you do? Would you stop for a friend that you completely couldn’t stand because they did something to upset you, if they were stranded on the side of the road? Or would you be like the latter and drive on by and wave?

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Facebook has an age limit of 13 to sign up for an account, but when my daughter came to me pleading and begging to get a Facebook so she could keep in touch with her old friends from her old school when we moved, I stopped and thought,’Why do all her 9 and 10 year old friends have a Facebook?’ At first I frowned upon it, constantly telling her no. She has her own phone but it is just a regular flip phone and she has family and a few friends she can call. So I figured that was all she needed. But then it was “I want an Iphone.”, “I want an Ipad.”, “I want and Ipod.”, “I want a Kindle.” and “I want a laptop.” It got me wondering if it was true that kids her age had all these devices and of course a Facebook. I asked the fans on my page A Small Village their opinions and I got some great responses. 

One mother said that her 8 year old son has had a Facebook for 3 years, mostly for playing games like Farmville, etc. But she also said that he wan’ts a phone and her response was, “Who are you going to call? Me?” Which I thought was hilarious because I said the same thing to my daughter when she was 8 years old too. Yet I looked into it on my phone plan and I was able to get a free phone if I added another line, which I just got her a flip phone. She loved it then, but now it is not “cool” like her friends phones. I usually respond with “At least you have a phone!” whenever she complains about wanting a new one.

Charlotte Munoz says that her daughter has a Facebook, and her daughter happened to be one of the girls my daughter wanted to keep in touch with from her old school. She says that it is strictly monitored and she only has a few friends on her profile like school friends and friends from dance class. Her son also has an Ipod that he can Facetime and text on and that he is happy with that. Quoting Charlotte she says “No matter what… The choice is yours alone! No matter what you decide people are going to judge you. I get told crap all the time over my kid having a phone, Facebook, Instagram whatever.”

Maria Nunez tells us that her kids have Ipads. The can text family and friends on it but they have to ask permission before doing so. Which I think is great because my daughter has a bad habit of getting her phone and calling whoever she wants. I have told her to ask permission yet she gives me the “I forgot!” line. Maria also says “I wouldn’t let her (daughter) have a Facebook even monitoring who her friends are. It gives her access I don’t think she’s old enough to have. Or that I think she doesn’t need. They already spend too much time on their electronics.” I do have to agree that kids do spend a lot of time on electronics. We had a nook at one time but it was destroyed by my then 1 year old. But the whole time we had it, my 4 year old son was constantly on it. He knew how to go to youtube and watch cartoons. I had all my settings protected with passwords so he couldn’t buy anything, well he figured out how to completely reset the Nook, which I don’t even know how to do. When he did that it removed all the passwords and settings and he figured out how to buy and download $350 in games from Barnes and Noble, luckily they understood and refunded me. Sometimes I let him play on my Kindle Fire and he is much better then I am at Angry Birds and Temple Run.

Another fan says that Facebook is hard to monitor because when people are tagged or pictures are shared it leaves your child open to inappropriate postings that certain age groups shouldn’t be exposed to. I also have to agree with this. I see content from people I don’t know in my news feed because a mutual friend is tagged or commented or even just liked the picture. I know some of my own posts are not kid friendly!

A friend of mine that I met through a Mommy Play-date Group on Cafe mom, Tiffani Slingerland Cisneros, says that her daughter has a Facebook but it’s super private with her 3 cousins, grandma and great-grandma and that’s it. She says “I’m not even her friend because I don’t want her reading my posts.” That made me laugh out loud because that is exactly how I feel about my daughter reading mine!

A mother to a 9 year old autistic daughter says that she is not interested in a Facebook page and that they limit her use of electronics. Quoting her she says, “She’s a reader and I’m so grateful for that. She is currently reading the Little House on the Prairie book set.”

One replied saying that they should be in late middle school at least, because of the fact that there are things they just don’t need to see or read on Facebook.

Another Mom from our play-date group, Sharley Todd Newcomer says, “My 10 yr old has been asking for a Facebook, saying all her friends have one but I don’t care she’s not getting one for a long time!” Kay Bellah-Massey replied to Sharley saying, “I am an old crone and I agree with you. “If your friends wanted to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, I guess you would too!” Spoken by MY mama 50 years ago! Nope, not being one of the cattle wandering around stupid!” 

Well I caved and I ended up setting up an account for my daughter a few days before she turned 10 years old. I have it very private and all notifications go to my email so I can approve and deny anything I want before she even sees it. I usually have her do chores for computer time but try not to let her stay on too long and she maybe gets on 3 times a week. She does chat with her old friends from her old school, new friends from her new school and with family who she doesn’t get to see often or that live out of state. 

So how do you feel about children under the age of 13 having a Facebook. It is easy to lie on the set up process about the year you were born. And I have found that it is true that most of the kids her age do have a Facebook and all these electronic devices she wants. We will just have to wait and see what Santa brings her next month!!

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I will admit that I am lazy in the cleaning department. But recently since I started my Harry Potter Facebook page it has gotten worse! My husband finally put his foot down and said he wants the house clean when he gets home. I figure, I wake up at 10 a.m. and then be online till 2 p.m. and then clean till 6 p.m. when hubby gets home. That’s 4 hours computer time and 4 hours cleaning. It has been working out good so far, as my husband has said that there has been much improvement. But I was wondering if everyone cleaned every day. I do have six kids so it is hard to keep the house clean, because I am constantly picking up something here and there. I posted this question on my page A Small Village because I wanted to see what others said. 

This was my post:
Seriously do all of you Mothers out there, clean EVERY SINGLE DAY?? Yeah I know I have slacked lately because of my new Harry Potter page but I try to get things cleaned in the morning and the girls come home and it gets messy again, then I clean up after them before hubby gets home and its messy again by the time he does…. and yeah I don’t do it every day anymore because I get tired of putting up the same toys, dishes, trash, shoes, socks, crap that I just put away that ends back right where I picked it up from every single time. So…. just wondering… Do you do laundry, dishes, sweep and mop, plus cook dinner, pick up the same toys from the same places every single day???

My responses were great. One said that she didn’t even have kids yet and still had to constantly clean. Another said that cleaning was “the story of her life”. I got great advise from another mom about having the kids help me clean and how to reward them or to make cleaning into a game. Yet this is a something I have tried. It works with the older ones sometimes, but a 2 year old in the house is like having a small tornado in every room at all times. One mother said that she doesn’t do a hard core cleaning every day and that she just straighten ups through out the day. I try to do a hardcore clean at least once a week, yet I have been slacking there too 🙂 Another mother of 3 said that she cleans all the time because she can’t stand her home being dirty, (which were my husbands exact words lol). One mother said that her kids all clean, they all do their own laundry, clean the floors, unload the dishwasher, sweep, trashes & recycling, and feed the animals. Although it doesn’t get done every day she says her house is always a mess! And I agreed that no matter how much I clean or the kids clean, it never feels completely clean.

Having six kids means that my couches are covered in sharpie and have rips and holes. We don’t have a kitchen table to fit all of us yet and our dining room is too small so kids eat in the living room and that is at least 4 messes from the middle kids, because they can’t eat like normal human beings. I swear they were raised by monkeys 🙂 

So how do you feel about being home with kids and trying to keep the house clean and while folding laundry, cooking supper and breaking up fights or cleaning up spills that the kids made? 

I admin a few pages on Facebook. It is addicting I swear 😛 

Hogwarts House Cup Games – where we play games for house points and I host giveaways for Harry Potter related items!

Gryffindor Goddess Lily Minerva Black – my admin page for Hogwarts House Cup Games.

The Garden of Pagan Knowledge – I am very proud of this page. It has grown so much in just over a year. I have learned so much and I have met some awesome great pagans!

Crooked Heart Creations – my page where I post things that I make, whether its sewn or crocheted. Everything from bows to tutus, to aprons and perfume.

and last A Small Village – My page about my family pretty much. Having six kids can be insane at times. Every day someone is in a bad mood or someone is hurt, or sick or happy, or hyper, or fussy. 

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This is a subject that I have been going over with some of my online friends from Facebook. It has always been said that men think about sex every 7 minutes. That guys are always horny and they just want a piece of ass. There is always that guy in the movie who tries to get the girl and she always thinks he just wants to get into her pants, but in reality I am finding out that it is not like that at all. It is usually the woman who want to have sex and the man who is making excuses about headaches and being too tired. So after talking with several women here is what I found.

First I will talk about my sex life after marriage.
The first 2 years we were not married, and sex was great… so great I got pregnant with our 4th child but he was our first one together. We got married shortly after he was born and sex kinda went up and down, no pun intended! Some times we were passionate yet it started dwindling down up until around June of this year. We would go months without sex because I got pregnant 2 more times and I just was never in the mood! I had a cerclage with my last 2 pregnancies, which made it uncomfortable for both of us. Yes the phrase “Once you get married the sex is gone.”, was very true in our relationship at the time. But now I have my tubes tied and my sex drive has gone off the charts ;). Of course we all have our days where we aren’t in the mood, but majority of the time I want to seduce my husband like he was Christian Grey! I may not show it, but I am thinking it. Sometimes I make a move but usually I don’t in hopes he does. But since I can not have children it feels like sex has become 100 times better, emotionally and physically. We have tried new things that I won’t go into detail about, ha ha! Anyways… I brought this up in two different chat groups with my close friends (whom I have never met yet have known them on Facebook for years due to our obsession with a book series and the other our religion of paganism.) I got several responses that I was not expecting!

“You are so lucky!” is the one I got the most! I am not going to mention names but I will tell you what they said from memory.
One says that she never gets any from her boyfriend because he is too tired all the time. I know that yes a man who works all day would be tired and not want to have sex, but a man probably would not turn down a blow job, which this certain guy does. 

One says she want’s to spice up their sex life, maybe have a threesome or have sex on the kitchen table or even role play and her boyfriend doesn’t want to do any of that. What guy doesn’t want to see his woman make out with another woman? I guess there are several who would be jealous? But that doesn’t seem to be the case, he just isn’t interested.

Another says her husband  is gone for months at a time and really needed to get laid bad! I told her about Pure Romance. I have several items from there and have had several girls night out parties where a consultant comes over to show items and play games. She said she had never used toys before. I hope she buys something… It is life changing 🙂

Another says that if she does get it it doesn’t last very long. My husband and I had sex for 3 hours a few weekends ago and they all said that they never get that. If they were lucky they got 5 minutes.

Another says that she has been told to go masturbate and watch porn by her boyfriend!! (Which I will admit I have told hubby to do the same) 

So why are men complaining that the sex dies after marriage? Sex dies during pregnancy I know this pretty well. But what about the guys out there who are young in their peak and just don’t want anything to do with sex? Maybe they are just not happy with their partner, maybe they really just are tired, maybe they just aren’t into sharing their significant other. But I am happy that I grow more and more attracted to my husband every day. I am open about my sexuality and I am glad that my husband likes to think outside of the box. I guess we are lucky to have each other, because apparently some men are boring

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